So Friday Emma threw the biggest temper tantrum to date. It was bad. We were at a restaurant, and we had to get it to go because Emma wouldn't calm down. I thought, "Well, that was weird, but I'm glad that's over." Well, it wasn't. She threw a giant tantrum yesterday, and again today. I don't know what to do. I feel like something must be wrong with her. Something must be bothering her. But people keep telling me its just her age. It mostly happens when she wants to walk. But its like something makes her mad, and then it just escalates until she can't calm down. She is completely inconsolable. It really makes me sad! So, I need your help. Any advice on how to handle temper tantrums with a 20 month old. Its hard because Emma can talk pretty well, and understand, but there is still a major communication barrier. I'm at a loss. I'll try anything! (Except violence, as that was my brothers solution.)
Sunday, March 23, 2008
HELP!!!
Posted by Lauri at 10:58 PM
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10 comments:
I think it is her age but you gotta be firm with discpline too. You can be leniet sometimes and nto the others. Its hard though cause they know how to push our limits and test us but just be strong and you will get through it.
I feel so bad for you, and fear for myself. Payton went through it and I am just waiting for Isaac to. However I have been reading this book called Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood, and I swear it is genius. Give it a read then a try. It has worked with Payton so much. Just know it is SO normal.
Umm... so I don't have any advice because I am kidless... but I just wanted to tell you Good Luck with That! I am sure you and Tyler will pull through and she will be sweet once again!
yep... that was me doing who knows what and posting my comment 3 times... Whoops!
Sorry, but it is the age. I think we have to learn to ignore them!
Well... I might just need to talk to ya... I could type a book on the stuff I have read, having a two year old right now, but I will keep it short and simple and just share one idea I read, call me for the others. A lot of times kids start getting upset when they want something, and it increases when they don't get what they want and when they don't think you understand them so they get frustrated too. So with William (granted he is 26 months almost) he is upset yelling or crying and I make sure he can see I am looking at him, get eye contact. ask him (for example) you want the candy, is that candy what you want. (he usually says okay, or yes, like I am gonna give it to him because now he knows I understand and he calms down a bit) then I say I know you want the candy... we just can't have it now, later, or after dinner, not now. Then I take him and distract him to something else or ask if he would like some juice or milk. Sometimes it calms him a bit to know I understand, and then to distract him to something else. Sometimes he keeps after what he wants but I just repeat the process, don't give in (not that I haven't before :) but try not to. anyway sort of short and simple but that is the idea make sure they know you understand and at the same time try to distract or help them understand how it has to be.... it does work sometimes.
One thing that I've learned, now having two kiddies, is just to pick my battles. It totally is just the age, and EVERY kid goes through it, even the sweetest of them all, but if you handle it well, she'll grow out of it too. I definately agree with everyone though on not backing down. Now is a time when she's going to test your boundaries and find out just what she can get away with. You'll be fine though, I'm sure!!
Laur,
It is so frustrating when you can see that they are so upset and you don't know how to deal with it, but what Angela said is EXACTLY what I do. My Mom always makes fun of me because I say "look at my eyes" when I talk to them and if they look away I keep saying it until I have eye contact. Then I ask what they need or want and repeat it back to them so THEY know that I know what they want. Usually if kids feel understood then they can calm down; it's when you don't take the time to find out why they are crying that it excalates. Sometimes though it just doesn't matter what you do in the moment; they just need to let out frustration in the form of a tantrum. You are a great Mom--don't get frustrated!
xoxo
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